THANKS SO MUCH to everyone who has donated to my fundraising page: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/samlibassi/2012. I just ran my first post-cancer race, the 2012 Shamrock Shuffle- and 8k [4.97mi] race in 37:27! My training has been going well; my mileage and speed increase as time progresses and I get even healthier. With each race I run I am raising money to help people like me as they battle cancer and beat it; and also for those who weren’t as fortunate as I was and died. THANK YOU!!!!!

One quick story- After the Shuffle, I went to church with my friend in downtown chicago. While there I met a guy who just arrived this past week from Uganda to be treated at RUSH for osteosarcoma. He already has lost his leg due to the cancer. I was so amazed at how God put me there at that time so that I could sit down with him and tell him how I just survived this past year. Here’s a link to his Facebook- I’m sure he’d love to get a message letting him know you’re supporting him and praying for him. His name is George Buyinza. FB:http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1574782923

This is from Sam’s Dad.  It’s President’s Day.  One year ago, I spent the day with Sam for day one of cancer.  Needless to say, a bit overwhelming. Here I sit a year later preparing for my Sunday School class knowing Sam is in remission, and Lord willing, no more cancer. I don’t know how to thank God for what He as done, but my lesson, which will be Psalm 146, 147, 148, 149 & 150 gave me this thought:

Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.
Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.
Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.
Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.
Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.
Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

Psalm 150:1-6

well, here i am, only a month away from my first year diagnosis anniversary. it has been so wonderful to feel good again, to have energy, to have hair! God has been incredibly good to me throughout everything.

now that i’m getting healthy again, i have started running again [finally! (: ] as 2011 passed and 2012 came around, i thought a lot about ways to stay involved with the cancer community aside from occasionally visiting my nurses/ hospital buddies. i decided to work with Imerman Angels, an organization that has been a huge supporter of me during my fight. i decided to join Team IA, a running team which raises money to support IA’s work with cancer fighters and survivors throughout the world. I will be running several races this year- and raising money at each one of them. please check out my donations page at http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/samlibassi/2012 also, if you know anyone who either is fighting or has survived cancer, share my page with them and help me spread the word.

as i’ve said before, THANK YOU so much for all your prayers, love and support!!!

i have never asked, “why me?” but i have always asked, and will continue to ask, “why did i have cancer?” of course there’s the physiological explanation. chromosomes 11 and 22 swapped a piece of information, causing a mutation (that’s right- mutants do exist!) which manifested itself as ewing’s sarcoma. perhaps a better way to phrase the question would be, “what is God’s purpose for my having cancer?”

i’ve already been able to see some of the benefits of having cancer. “benefits?!” you might ask. to which i reply, “yes, benefits.” i never would have chosen to have cancer, especially now having gone through it all, but i can indubitably say that i am thankful for it.

tonight, i found out about that one person i know has just been diagnosed with cancer, and another will possibly be diagnosed tomorrow. my immediate reaction? “this is why- maybe not entirely- but this is a major purpose for my having cancer.” so i can empathize with and help those who will face this terrible disease. so i can repay a bit of the unspoken debt i owe to all those who prayed, sent cards, sacrificed, took care of me, etc. so that i could be sitting on my futon right now typing this as a survivor.

if you remember to, please pray not only for my two friends and their families, but also for all those currently struggling with cancer. having been there myself, i can safely say that prayer makes a huge difference. thank you.

being an engineer inherently means that I deal with numbers every day. I’m always measuring, counting, and calculating. therefore, when I first got cancer, I began to keep track of how often I would do things (or have things done to me!) some people may think it slightly masochistic to keep track of some things, but with my brain it helped me to keep everything properly processed and organized. so here it is- cancer by the numbers…

228         needle sticks (bloodwork, canulation, iv’s, shots, etc.)

70           round trips to Rush University Medical Center

27.6        miles to Rush (one way, according to Google ® maps)

3864       miles driven (70*27.6*2)

283         cards, notes, and drawings I got in the mail from diagnosis (2-15-11) until last treatment day (11-14-11)

31.4        cards, notes, and drawings per month

1.047     cards, notes, and drawings per day

9              months from diagnosis (2-15-11) until last treatment day (11-14-11)

58           days of chemo

17           rounds of chemo

26           days of radiation

5              number of chemotherapy drugs

5              number of assistive/ protective drugs taken with chemo

???          friends praying daily

1             AMAZING MOM!!! (and family too!)

(note: the numbers here regarding treatment are due to the treatment protocol  for Ewing’s sarcoma established by the Children’s Oncology Group (COG) and are not representative of every cancer)

one other numerical thought: most parts of life follow the bell curve as defined in statistics. i’m thankful for a God who, tho creating an orderly and statistical world, defies statistics by being perfect- numerically making the bell curve null and void if applied to him

well, after nine months, the hair is finally starting to grow back!

coming soon: the numbers of cancer…

Happy Thanksgiving - Dad’s Turn

I asked Sam if I could share some thoughts, which he was okay with.

Life has changed. 

I recall when I first spoke to Sam on February 8^th when he told me he was being referred to an orthopaedic oncologist, and that we’d have to wait to hear a diagnosis.  When we spoke on February 15^th, just before noon, Sam confirmed that Dr. Gitelis had diagnosed his arm injury as cancer- Ewings sarcoma.  As I sat at work, the next couple of hours were difficult as I awaited a phone call with Dr. Gitelis.  A lot happened in that 2 hours ranging from complete terror to abject prayer.  Then in a moment of quietness, this thought came to me- God knows—He knows what it means to give up a Son—he gave his Son for us.  Okay, Lord, Sam is yours.  I see. 

Phone call:

“Phil, this is Steve Gitelis, I have 5 children, I can imagine what you are thinking right now.”  I’ll never forget those words.  Empathetic words.  That night Pat and I talked, and we were on the same page. We each had the same moment of quietness —Lord, we are ready. 

A week later on February 21^st I spent the day with Sam at Rush getting briefed by the physicians, about the protocols, chemicals, risks, side effects, second opinions, the several months of treatment, surgery, radiation…..it was like the first day of college.  At the end of the day, Sam dropped me at O’Hare.  I broke down as we said goodbye.  He told me not to worry. That night, I arrived in Washington DC to my hotel at 1:00 am – didn’t sleep—got out of bed at 4:00 am and wrote down every decision that had to be made—battle plans.

The terms ‘war’ and ‘battle’ are often used to describe cancer.  The parallels are many.  A war occurs for a period of time.  It is made up of battles.  There are casualties.  There are scars.  Not everything will be the same as it used to be.  For now Sam’s battle has been stayed, and Lord willing, the cancer is in remission. 

I’ve been changed.  I have had the privilege of watching my son turn this away from him to help others.  I have been reminded about what an amazing person my wife is – the strong one.  I have enjoyed watching my children embrace the opportunity to help.  Cancer means something personal - I will never be able to pass by a ’bald’ person again without pausing to pray for them. 

So this Thanksgiving I want to say ‘thank you’.  If you are reading this blog, thank you.  Thank you for wearing green on November 14^th.  Thank you for your cards.  Thank you for your phone calls.  Thank you for asking how Sam is doing.  Thank you for your emails.  Thank you for your gifts.  Thank you for stopping by the hospital to see Sam.  Thank you for your prayers.  Thank you Parker for keeping Sam at work.  Thank you Dr. Kent. Thank you Peds Floor @ Rush. Thank you Lake County Baptist Church. Thank you Nurses – all of you.  Thank you Dr. Gitelis. Thank you Dr. Cohen. Thank you Imerman Angels. Thank you for the food you gave to Sam.  Thank you for helping Sam get back and forth from the hospital.  It is hard to put in words the overwhelming blessings we have experienced, opportunities received, kindness shown to us, thoughts, prayers, concern.  The Apostle Paul said it well, “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you” Phil. 1:3

One final thought of thankfulness:  Thank you Lord.

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:” Isa 26:3-4

“That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” Eph 3:17-21

today, nov. 14, 2011, is my last day of chemotherapy [ever, Lord willing]!!!

ps-many of my friends as well as myself are wearing green (my favorite color) today in celebration of my final day, so if you feel so inclined, by all means do so :)

thanks to everyone, but most of all to God!

This past Friday I finished up my last 5 day round ever (knock on wood)! Obviously I’m really excited to be done. It’s odd- for the past nine months, I’ve lived and breathed the life of a cancer patient, and now that I’m almost done, I’m finding that its almost hard to remember what life was like before having cancer. I’m sure I’ll be able to remember once I get there, but it did strike me as funny- how do you forget normal life?

At the end of the day- it shows how we as humans are blessed and cursed with adaptability. I seriously doubt many of you woke this morning, walked around today, and were profoundly thankful that you didn’t get tired after walking a short distance, or have your pulse jump excessively due to said walking. Now, while you may not have considered anything of the sort, I, on the other hand, most certainly did- only that I, after getting slightly short of breath and feeling my heart racing, was thankful 1) that I was still able to walk, and 2) that soon (within a few months hopefully) I’ll be at a state of health where I’ll be able to walk without getting tired or having my heart rate jump at something as menial as walking. To be truthful, I’m looking forward to the day where I will be so used to good health that I will no longer actively be thankful for it- I will have adapted to my good health.

Probably the most frequent question I get asked is “How do you deal with it?” I’ve thought a lot about that question, because as the months have dragged and flown by and I can smell the end, the answer has changed. Honestly, (and this may sound weird) I’ve gotten used to having cancer. That doesn’t mean the drugs have gotten easier, the pain and discomfort less, but simply that I, as a human being, have the innate ability to adapt to what I’m going through. I’ve adapted to the schedule, to knowing and expecting the weeks when my counts hit zero, to dealing with the pain and knowing that if I hang in there it’ll be over sooner than later. I’ve even gotten used to having cute nurses take care of me ;P (definitely the easiest part lol).

This was more philosophical than I initially intended, but let me close with this. “The earth is the Lord’s, and the fulness thereof” psalm 24:1. God is in control, he is sovereign. We often take for granted the simplest yet greatest gifts. Something that’s helped me at the worst of times is this thought: “Sam, you have it good. Someone out there wishes he were in your shoes right now. Learn all you can from this time, because youll only have it once.”